Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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