She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
