theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
