I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
