She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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