i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
