I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
