Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
