What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
