we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
