I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
