Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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