Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
