Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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