Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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