She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There's always time for handjobs
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
