He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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