did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
