Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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