dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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