Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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