im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
