You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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