My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
