So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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