Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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