Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
