I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
