I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
