3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
