Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
