We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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