dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize