U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
