Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Randomize
