People in love make me want to vomit
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
