Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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