it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
