You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize