I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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