Operation Purity has been aborted
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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