Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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