Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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