it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize