Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
