She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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