Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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