I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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