so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We are all done wearing pants today
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
