Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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