You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
