should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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