Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
