I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
