if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
