we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
