Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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