i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
