those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
