shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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