There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
