he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
