I smell stomach acid.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
